Can You C.C. the Real Me?

Dear C.C.,

Billy Idol, Bon Jovi, Eddie Van Halen, they all have their portrait on the walls of my heart, and I am happy to say, I have saved a spot for you.

I’ve always been supportive of 80’s rock legends. I smile when they finally acknowledge their bastard children, I laugh when they fly through the air in their music videos, I shed tears when they OD for the 7th time, and I think good thoughts for them when they get into rehab (again).

You are no exception. I have to be honest though, you kinda flew under my radar until very recently. I remember seeing you on Poison’s “Behind the Music” and thought you were slightly dodgy with a great need for some Frizz-Ease and maybe a little methadone.



However, when I saw you on the Surreal Life 6, all of that changed. You were so sober on there, so New York, so... strangely attractive. It was a slow metamorphasis. On the first episode, I noticed I liked your hair. The third episode, I started to find your voice to be endearing in an “I might have lung cancer” kind of way. By the second to last episode, I had to cover my face everytime you smiled so I didn’t run up and kiss the TV.
There was this one part during “Flo’s Last Word,” where you winked at Florence Henderson and I almost had to change my underwear...was that too graphic?




Here are my suggestions to you for a better life.
1) Don’t start hanging out with Bret Michaels again. You’ll listen to “I Want Action,” he’ll get you into bandannas again and you know what comes after the bandannas. Yup, crack cocaine.
2) Don’t screw the Playboy model from Surreal Life 6. She seems like a nice girl, but remember C.C. You are trying to move forward, not revert to the C.C. who talked about his “den of whores” on “Behind the Music.”
3) Have you ever thought of dating a normal girl? Perhaps a somewhat sassy 25 year old Seattleite with a major pop culture fixation? Think about it.
4)Don’t go back to your birth name. Bruce Anthony Johannesson just isn’t as sexy as C.C. Just don’t make me call you Cecil Cornelius in the heat of passion. I’ll totally lose my boner.

Could it actually be possible that you’ve changed? We all know Denise was retarded to take on Charlie Sheen, but if you finally find happiness, will you sabatoge it with your drugs and your whores or will you sustain this new path you’ve found? I can only hope for the latter because I am about to buy the “Best of Poison.”

Love you!

Sarah Skilling